These last few weeks I have been faced with a lot of big decisions that have had to be made very fast! In this situation you have to rely on your gut.
Unfortunately though, when there is so much riding on it you begin doubt that feeling inside, that unexplainable sensation that tells us whether something is right or wrong, good or bad, beneficial or detrimental.
I think ultimately our lives are made up of a whole bunch of choices, from the friends we make to the friends we keep, from the places we visit to the places we stay, from the partner we leave to the one we commit to, its all a choice and we are the ones that have the final say. So why do we find ourselves being influenced so heavily by the opinion of others? Why do we do what we think others want us to do or behave in a way that we think others will perceive as morally correct? I am sure we are all guilty of it on some level. We are the ones that have to live with our choices so we should be the ones that are driving them.
I am a 31-year-old childless, unmarried singer. Now what does society say about that? What would society have me believe? ‘Your body-clock is ticking and you should definitely start having children now’. ‘You’ve been with your boyfriend 6 years… When are you getting married?’. ‘You are 31 you are basically too old to be a singer now, you are passed it and no one will want to buy your music if you don’t have a toned stomach and the face of a 16-year-old. You should get a ‘real job”. It is hard when we are faced with all these opinions and ideals to focus our minds on our own morals and beliefs and see clearly what it is that we want! I think ultimately when making a decision you are taking a risk. You are saying, here world, this is what I want, this is what I believe in and if it all falls down around me then I will still feel happy and proud of myself for trying.
I am not in any way saying that we should lay out our values, morals and believes and live by them for the rest of our lives, never being influenced by the world around us or the people in it. Far from it; learn from others, listen to others, hear their thoughts and then decide what is right for you. We don’t stop learning just because leave school. Every day is a lesson in something. Just because we are not sat behind a white board with our class mates pretending to listen to the teacher while scribbling ‘I heart Dan Hindmarsh I.D.S.T.'(that’s If Destroyed Still True incase you didn’t know.) on our pencil-case, it’s still a lesson… We just get to choose the curriculum. Another choice!
My best friend wrote her first blog the other day and it came at the time that I was having to make all these big decisions that I talked about earlier. It inspired me completely to take the risk and know that it really isn’t a life or death situation. It is just part of the journey and an experience that will in whatever way teach me something new. Here is a little exert from her blog that I like in which she talks about ‘Creative Risk’: “Taking a risk is scary. Risk is putting yourself, your ideas, your business out there. The danger is fear of the world rejecting or criticising you, or it all going wrong. But what if we viewed risk creativity and realised that staying the same could actually be more dangerous to us either personally or to our businesses. What if we take away the concept of fear (the danger) and see risk as a creative action to invite new experiences and opportunities into our lives and trust that it will lead us to places we simply can’t imagine.”
I stand by my choices and the reasons for making them and the ones that didn’t work out the way I hoped still taught me some valuable lessons that will shape my next choice and so on.
“How you feel in any given moment is more important than anything else, because how you feel right now is creating your life.” Rhonda Byrne
love, love, love